Friday, May 8, 2009

You Don’t Know What You Look Like

I am not talking about looking at pictures, or watching yourself on videos or looking in the mirror while you are reciting your affirmations. I mean that you don’t know what you look like from the perspective of someone else. You don’t know what they see, sense, feel or think when they look at you and experience you. Is that important? You bet you butt it is. If you are interviewing, then the job depends on it. If you are approaching the opposite sex and expecting a warm reception, then it is paramount.

If we have established that it is important and that “You Don’t Know What You Look Like,” then it is also probably true that you don’t know how to find out how you look either.

It is simple. Ask people. Ask the people closest to you. Ask strangers. Ask early in conversations. There are several ways to ask. Ask them to give you three words that come to mind when they met you or three words that best describe you in their view. You can say, “You have known me all my life, in one sentence describe me and I don’t mean physically. Describe me as a person.”

Now you may be surprised at the answers you get. The person giving you the answers at a particular point in time is looking at you, sensing you through their own filters. For example, if they are very religious and sense the goodness in you, then that will be in their response. You will most likely get a lot of different answers and also a pattern will emerge.

Let me know your experiences and we will continue this interchange.